65' custom-built motor yacht complete with staterooms, a state-of-the-art galley, G.P.S. system and radar for navigation, twin supercharged diesel engines, etc. $4,500,000.00
Champagne, chocolate covered strawberries with cream and music dockside for the excited 'soon to be owners' and a small group of friends. $50000
Two corporate representatives, crane, and rigging complete with faulty turnbuckle. $2,500/hour
(Note the guy in the stern!)
Watching your dreamboat nose dive into the harbor, accompanied by two corporate representatives just prior to 'inking' the final paperwork...
Subject: Great minds (??)
Only great minds can read this (I'm not sure about this statement!) This is weird, but interesting!
fi yuo cna raed tihs, yuo hvae a sgtrane mnid too
Cna yuo raed tihs? Olny 55 plepoe out of 100 can.
i cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt! if you can raed tihs forwrad it.
A GREAT IDEA FOR 2008!
Boogie Through Life!
• Don't cry because its over, smile because it happened.
So be happy! Don't let anything burst your balloon!
New "Must-Have" Inventions. What will they think of next?
Don't you just feel this way sometimes???
If your brain works normally this is neat.
This is another example of an amazing illusion!!! The last sentence is so true. If your eyes follow the movement of the rotating pink dot, the dots will remain only one color, pink.
However if you stare at the black ' + ' in the centre, the moving dot turns to green. Now, concentrate on the black ' + ' in the centre of the picture. After a short period, all the pink dots will slowly disappear, and you will only see only a single green dot rotating. It's amazing how our brain works. There really is no green dot , and the pink ones really don't disappear. This should be proof enough, we don't always see what we think we see.
( Don't ask me! I don't know how it's done!!)
Tough Love vs. Spankings
Most of America's populace think it improper to spank children, so I have tried other methods to control my kids when they have one of 'those moments.'
One that I found effective is for me to just take the child for a car ride and talk. They usually calm down and stop misbehaving after our car ride together. I've included a photo below of one of my sessions with my son, in case you would like to use the technique.
Sincerely, A Friend
Party at the Senior center
Last night we went to a party at our local senior center.. The last Saturday of every month they have an evening potluck supper. We usually eat, play bingo, reminisce, and drink a little wine and talk about the good ole days.
We heard Selma Martin's grandson is staying with her for a few weeks. It's rumored he got in a scrap over some marijuana with the law out in Phoenix and he came to Denton to avoid the heat. Anyway, Selma is known for her delicious Brownies and she always bakes up a quadruple batch for each get-together. She makes enough for everyone and some for folks to take one home for later. For some reason they were extra good this week and every last one of them was eaten. Not a one left over. We later found out that Selma 's grandson, Butch, laced the brownies with some of his marijuana.
Knowing this, I guess it offers a logical reason for everyone feeling good that night. By the time Zeke put on the bunny hop record, everyone was in a real good mood and it was the first time the whole place got up and danced. That is until the cops came to check all the noise complaints. Well, that's another story. WELL.. YOU PUT YOUR LEFT FOOT IN AND YOUR. . . YOU KNOW THE REST.
Life's too Short.. Dance like No One is Watching You!
Retirement in Alaska
I suppose this would work for Maine too... Oh Oh!
Tom had been in the liquor business for 25 years. Finally sick of the stress he quits his job and buys 50 acres of land in Alaska as far from humanity as possible. He sees the postman once a week and gets groceries once a month. Otherwise it's total peace and quiet. After six months or so of almost total isolation, someone knocks on his door. He opens it and a huge, bearded man is standing there. "Name' s Cliff, your neighbor from forty miles up the road. Having a Christmas party Friday night. Thought you might like to come. About 5:00."
"Great", says Tom, "after six months out here I'm ready to meet some local folks. Thank you." As Cliff is leaving, he stops. "Gotta warn you. Be some drinking'." "Not a problem" says Tom. "After 25 years in the business, I can drink with the best of 'em". Again, the big man starts to leave and stops. "More 'n' likely gonna be some fighting' too." "Well, I get along with people, I'll be all right. I'll be there. Thanks again." "More'n likely be some wild sex, too," "Now that's really not a problem" says Tom, warming to the idea. "I've been all alone for six months! I'll definitely be there. By the way, what should I wear?" "Don't much matter. Just gonna be the two of us."
click here. *You must be of age to view this. ;)
Women Are Evil?
A woman went up to the bar in a quiet rural pub. She gestured alluringly to the bartender who approached her immediately. She seductively signaled that he should bring his face closer to hers. As he did, she gently caressed his full beard. "Are you the manager?" she asked, softly stroking his face with both hands. "Actually, no," he replied. "Can you get him for me? I need to speak to him," she said, running her hands beyond his beard and into his hair. "I'm afraid I can't," breathed the bartender.. "Is there anything I can do?" "Yes. I need you to give him a message," she continued, running her forefinger across the bartender's lip and slyly popping a couple of her fingers into his mouth and allowing him to suck them gently. "What should I tell him?" the bartender managed to say.
"Tell him," she whispered, "There's no toilet paper, hand soap, or paper towels in the ladies room."
DO YOU EAT CHOCOLATE? We were raised on chocolate as kids and even into adulthood. I will never eat it again. I hope from now on you will throw yours away whenever you are given any . It seems as though nothing is safe to eat anymore. This is what happens when you eat chocolate! This is a warning, send this to everyone you care about. It could happen to you......or them.
Yogi Berra Explains Jazz
Published: October 21, 2004 By Steve Chalke
Interviewer: What do you expect is in store for the future of jazz trumpet?
Yogi: I'm thinkin' there'll be a group of guys who've never met talkin' about it all the time...
Interviewer: Can you explain jazz?
Yogi: I can't, but I will. 90% of all jazz is half improvisation. The other half is the part people play while others are playing something they never played with anyone who played that part. So if you play the wrong part, its right. If you play the right part, it might be right if you play it wrong enough. But if you play it too right, it's wrong.
Interviewer: I don't understand.
Yogi: Anyone who understands jazz knows that you can't understand it. It's too complicated. That's whats so simple about it.
Interviewer: Do you understand it?
Yogi: No. That's why I can explain it. If I understood it, I wouldnt know anything about it.
Interviewer: Are there any great jazz players alive today?
Yogi: No. All the great jazz players alive today are dead. Except for the ones that are still alive. But so many of them are dead, that the ones that are still alive are dying to be like the ones that are dead. Some would kill for it.
Interviewer: What is syncopation?
Yogi: That's when the note that you should hear now happens either before or after you hear it. In jazz, you don't hear notes when they happen because that would be some other type of music. Other types of music can be jazz, but only if they're the same as something different from those other kinds.
Interviewer: Now I really don't understand.
Yogi: I haven't taught you enough for you to not understand jazz that well.
An 86-year-old man went to his doctor for his quarterly check-up... The doctor asked him how he was feeling , and the 86-year-old said , Things are great and I've never felt better. I now have a 25 year-old bride who is pregnant with my child. "So what do you think about that Doc ?"
The doctor considered his question for a minute and then began to tell a story. "I have an older friend , much like you , who is an avid hunter and never misses a season. One day he was setting off to go hunting. In a bit of a hurry , he accidentally picked up his walking cane instead of his gun." "As he neared a lake , he came across a very large male beaver sitting at the water's edge. He realized he'd left his gun at home and so he couldn't shoot the magnificent creature. Out of habit he raised his cane , aimed it at the animal as if it were his favorite hunting rifle and went 'bang , bang'." "Miraculously , two shots rang out and the beaver fell over dead.
Now, what do you think of that ?" asked the doctor. The 86-year-old said , "Logic would strongly suggest that somebody else pumped a couple of rounds into that beaver." The doctor replied , "My point exactly."
Check out this awesome video - A Rough Morning.
The Rock in Iowa
International Picture of the Year.
Here are two very touching photos honored at this years event:
Arlington National Cemetery at Christmas
Readers may be interested to know that these wreaths -- some 5,000 -- are donated by the Worcester Wreath Co. of Harrington, Maine. The owner, Merrill Worcester, not only provides the wreaths, but covers the trucking expense as well. He's done this since 1992. A wonderful guy. Also, most years, groups of Maine school kids combine an educational trip to DC with this event to help out. Making this even more remarkable is the fact that Harrington is in one the poorest parts of the state. Please share this with everyone on your address list. You hear too much about the bad things people do. Everyone should hear about this.
I Think You Qualify: True American.
It is time to change from REDNECK humor to TRUE AMERICAN
Something cool that Xerox is doing
If you go to this web site, www.LetsSayThanks.com you can pick out a thank you card and Xerox will print it and it will be sent to a soldier that is currently serving in Iraq . You can't pick out who gets it, but it will go to some member of the armed services. How AMAZING it would be if we coul d get everyone we know to send one!!! This is a great site. Please send a card. It is FREE and it only takes a second. Wouldn't it be wonderful if the soldiers received a bunch of these? Whether you are for or against the war, our guys and gals over there need to know we are behind them...
This is so easy. Click on the site, select a card and a pre-written greeting, and submit. I also took time to read comments like...."I've been in Afghanistan for two months and this was the first mail I received...." Please take a moment to thank a brave soldier.
Subject: Sears - Christmas shopping has already started
I know I needed this reminder since Sears isn't always my first choice. Amazing when you think of how long the war has lasted and they haven't withdrawn from their commitment. Could we each buy at least one thing at Sears this year?
How does Sears treat its employees who are called up for military duty? By law, they are required to hold their jobs open and available, but nothing more. Usually, people take a big pay cut and lose benefits as a result of being called up. Sears is voluntarily paying the difference in salaries and maintaining all benefits, including medical insurance and bonus programs, for all called up reservist employees for up to two years.
I submit that Sears is an exemplary corporate citizen and should be recognized for its contribution. I suggest we all shop at Sears, and be sure to find a manager to tell them why we are there so the company gets the positive reinforcement it well deserves. Pass it on.
Decided to check this before I sent it forward. So I sent the following e-mail to the Sears Customer Service Department:
I received this e-mail and I would like to know if it is true. If it is, the Internet may have just become one very good source of advertisement for your company. I know I would go out of my way to buy products from Sears instead of another store for a like item, even if it's cheaper at that store.
This is their answer to my e-mail: Dear Customer:
Thank you for contacting Sears.The information is factual. We appreciate your positive feedback. Sears regards service to our country as one of greatest sacrifices our young men and women can make.. We are happy to do our part to lessen the burden they bear at this time.
Real Age (NOT a joke)
Are you as young as you can be? It used to be that aging was inevitable. Now you'll notice that some people look their age, and some people don't. Research now proves that you can look and feel younger than your calendar age . . . without expensive products or procedures. The secret is in how well you take care of yourself. That's where RealAge can help. Below are just a few of the RealAge tools that can help you look and feel younger in as few as 90 days:
The Amish Farmer
Massachusetts Urine Tests